ILYSE DOBROW DIMARCO, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
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Welcome

I am Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) specialist who practices in Northern New Jersey.  I hope this website will be a useful resource for anyone interested in learning more about what CBT is and how to access it.

Thoughts on Therapy

The important balance between acceptance and change

In her Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Marsha Linehan stresses the need for people to strive for both acceptance and change.  That is, people are encouraged to accept their current life circumstances, and at the same time, work towards changing these circumstances.

It’s obvious why change is important.  So, why is acceptance important?

Often, people blame themselves for their problems, and struggle with shame and self-loathing.  Mired in self-blame and negativity, they are unable to think flexibly about how best to improve their circumstances.  However, once they learn to accept where they’re at, and treat themselves with compassion, they are in a better position to see the options before them and make important changes.

Acceptance work is a critical aspect of CBT for any problem.  Both acceptance and change are critical for treatment success.

 


In the News

And speaking of Marsha Linehan...Dr. Linehan recently discussed her own past struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder and how they inspired her to develop Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a popular adaptation of CBT used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder, suicidality, and other issues.
Give yourself a break!  A recent blog post in the New York Times discusses the potential role of self-compassion in facilitating behavior change and improving mood.  It cites the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, who underscores the importance of being kind to oneself and accepting one's shortcomings.